[UPDATE] I was requested to compile all of the real-life cheats into an easy to read list.

2012-06-07T02:41:08.632863+00:00

Tell Kids-r-us that the due date is one month earlier than it really is. Otherwise they send you awesome coupons for the shit you already bought.

2012-06-07T02:20:23.689073+00:00

With regards to #30--my girlfriend did this at a university parking garage (low-quality paper receipt system) last year, very successfully for a couple of months. When she got caught, they charged her with FORGERY. That's a felony. I had to bail her out of jail, and so far she's shelled out $1500 in legal costs in addition to the $450 bail. Still has yet to go to court. Hopefully, parking officers other places aren't as hard-up about everything.

Edit: Just be careful kids. Be aware of rules/laws where you're trying to park and the fact that in most places (even university parking lots) it's a felony. Also, in general, don't forge. Forging's bad.

2012-06-07T02:48:05.133237+00:00

Smile when talking on the phone, especially to customer service people. You'll get better service.

2012-06-07T01:42:14.892234+00:00

number 66. Wait, what?

2012-06-07T02:35:22.304556+00:00

I just wanted to point out something.... I work at a music venue, and the whole "I've got the ice" thing will get you punched in the face by our 300lb bouncers. We've got $10,000 in speakers and Pro Tools HD with a $5,0000 console. I don't even know what lights add up to. We can afford the ice machine.

2012-06-07T02:40:16.825173+00:00

Awesome list, thanks. Adding to #25- I take a cell pic of my hotel room key held up next to my hotel door number. Time shift to later on when Drunkie McStumbleshome needs to know where to go and what replacement key to beg for. I also take a pic of my car keys in my hand next to my valet ticket that I will soon lose.

2012-06-07T02:04:51.502484+00:00

Rule #82 - Skip Rules 41-49. Edit: 81 was taken.. ;)

2012-06-07T02:25:15.606766+00:00

add:

When you go to the grocery store, don't worry about trying to park closest to the door, park closest to where you drop the cart off, youre going to be walking there anyways, so walking distance will be just as short this way.

2012-06-07T03:23:18.833627+00:00

Don't do #80. I'm sure it'll work here and there, but even a moderately competent writing professor can tell when you're pandering to their ideals. My students do this all the time, and I always call them out on it. Just because we share a particular opinion/ideology doesn't mean you offered a strong argument for it.

I can't tell you how many shitty gay marriage advocacy papers I've gotten.

I do agree, though, that correct margins, font, header/footer format, citation format, STAPLING, etc. make a good impression. It at least implies that you probably spent a decent amount of time on your paper and actually proofread! And that's rarer than I first thought it'd be.

2012-06-07T02:59:03.232136+00:00

wave at a cop? I would get pulled over for being a smartass.

2012-06-07T01:33:00.669162+00:00

The link on #29 is dead. Imgur mirror is here: http://i.imgur.com/9jJTG.jpg

Via http://wayback.archive.org/web/*/http://www.enterprisevending.com/Images/vending.jpg

2012-06-07T00:21:05.900726+00:00

The amount of work you put into this is staggering. Thanks bud.

2012-06-07T01:21:39.672227+00:00

IANAL so this shouldnt be taken as legal advice, but this has worked every time for me (in California).

If you receive an infraction (such as a speeding ticket, cell phone ticket or red light ticket) plead "not guilty" but do not pay any money ie the "bail." They will send a threatening letter in about 60 days saying you have not paid the bail and that you are subject to a default judgement against you. At this time request the case be dismissed under PC 1382.

California Penal Code § 1382(a)(3) says that anyone accused of an infraction or misdemeanor who is out of custody has the right to be tried w/i 45 days of arraignment. VC § 40519(b) says that if you place bail after receiving a notice to appear on an infraction you give up your right to a speedy trial.

What the above laws mean is that after you enter a plea of "not guilty" they have 45 days to hold a trial, if they fail to do so the case MUST be dismissed (you are innocent) because they violated your right to a speedy trial.

Edit to explain more clearly how this works California Penal Code § 1382 defines your right to a speedy trial. http://law.onecle.com/california/penal/1382.html It says, for an infraction once you've been arraigned (informed that they are charging you) and entered a plea of not guilty they have 45 days to start the trial or the charges MUST be dismissed.

VC § 40519 http://law.onecle.com/california/vehicle/40519.html Says that for vehicle infractions like speeding tickets you can be charged and enter a plea by mail. If you do so you must send bail in the amount you would pay if you lose. If you do both of these things you lose your right to a speedy trial.

So when you mail back your plea of not guilty without paying the bail and demand a trial the clock starts ticking. They wont set the trail date because you didnt pay the bail.

After about 60 days they will send you a reminder. Write back saying that they violated California Penal Code § 1382(a)(3) by not starting the trial within 45 days and ask they dismiss the case. For me this works every time.

Most likely what is happening is that the clerk looks up PC § 1382, but doesnt know that you never actually entered a valid plea under VC § 40519 and dumps your case into the "to be dismissed" stack.

2012-06-07T03:05:01.772086+00:00

for #73:

You can kill a boner by placing one (or two) hands around your erect penis, then tugging furiously for a short period of time.

The more you know.

2012-06-07T02:46:45.877157+00:00

22 bothers me a lot because it assumes all toilets will be the same. Unfortunately for this tip, the old rod-and-ballcock toilet is dying technology. Most new toilets (excepting some really shitty ones) come with a new rod-less fill valve, and rod-less fill valves can and should be used as a replacement in your old toilets when parts need to be replaced.

Don't be surprised if you take the lid off the tank and can't find a giant arm and ball.

Since I'm not a heartless dick, allow me to provide images of what you are more likely to see since the old dinosaurs are dying out.

Example 1 This fluidmaster (and many similar knock-offs) come in most major brands of toilets purchased after 2010: If you see this, simply lift the part labeled "arm". It is the same process as the original tip, it just looks different and the part is smaller.

Example 2 The superior korky quiet fill. OH SHIT THERE IS NO ARM! Honestly, just dive for the shutoff valve. Or, if you are feeling adventurous, the white (sometimes red or blue) part lifts off (you may need to twist and pull, it snaps on) which will expose the float arm, which you then of course lift.

Those two styles and their knockoffs account for most toilets sold after 2010.

Good luck, and stop breaking things.

2012-06-07T00:45:44.560528+00:00

Something you could add: ever get that tingly, heavy feeling in your arms when you sleep on them? Move your neck left and right, like youre going to crack it almost. This will take the "pins and needles" feeling out of your arm.

2012-06-07T00:00:27.218983+00:00

You may want to X-post on /r/lifeprotips or better yet /r/lists ( as LPT doesn't accept lists) as this may be removed. Just a suggestion!

Edit: accidental 2X post and other mobile errors

2012-06-07T03:03:27.918274+00:00

#7 What the fuck does "lectured into voice mail" mean? What am I trying to do or prevent by pressing these buttons?

2012-06-07T01:00:50.701798+00:00

I keep trying #65 but nothing is happening . . .

2012-06-07T01:07:50.906907+00:00

In regards to #8, it works by reducing the amount of static around the magnetic reader.

2012-06-07T01:28:16.405907+00:00

I tried #52 but it keeps falling out of my vagina. What does I do? :-(

2012-06-07T01:52:09.143413+00:00

You forgot #41-#49

2012-06-07T00:21:24.110715+00:00

Update on #20. Take a picture of the front and back of all your Credit cards, debit cards, license, membership cards etc. Save the images on your dropbox in a .zip file with a password (7Zip will do this). If you ever lose your wallet AND phone, you can still get all your info. As a bonus, my parents know my dropbox logon and zip password just in case I get somewhere that they need to give me this info.

2012-06-07T02:00:12.284818+00:00

Tapping on the top or side of a beer or pop can does not reduce fizzyness.

2012-06-07T01:56:26.569900+00:00

#18 is wrong. It really depends on the city and the person working for the parking authority.

For example, in Pittsburgh a parking ticket is for 2 hours. I've parked and have come out to 3 different tickets on my car when I'd park for a day. And that was just for an expired meter.

For other typed of illegally parked cars that may just warrant a ticket, if the car is still there after a couple hours, they will tow.

In other words, I wouldn't put #18 to the test in any major city. Parking authorities have caught on to the ticket on the windshield.

2012-06-07T02:53:34.339585+00:00

Can someone explain #29 more to me? do i press the 4th then the 2nd then the 3rd then the 1st button to get it to work or what?

2012-06-07T02:19:21.303469+00:00

16 needs to be changed. There is an easier way to access the delicious innards of an orange. Please spread the word everyone needs to know this. Take your fingernail and score the peel from where the stem would have been to the bottom (think north to south pole) poke a finger inside and pull the two halves along the scored line apart. The orange will tear along a point of weakness which is where two slices meet. I teach second graders and have done this literally to thousands of oranges. It's the fastest way to peel an orange and you feel like the incredible hulk doing it.

2012-06-07T02:47:47.837939+00:00

We all know girls poop, but come on. They don't actually do #68, do they?

2012-06-07T02:45:20.167745+00:00

68 disturbed the shit out of me

2012-06-07T06:40:42.175189+00:00

At #60, Switched to audio books several years ago and cannot even imagine life without them now. Makes mowing the lawn or doing the dishes a fucking adventure.

2012-06-07T02:30:34.123559+00:00

When you step into a room and forget why you're there, simply go back to the room where you came from. Our brains compartmentalize thoughts based on the area we are in. Walking through an opening and into a new space will cause your brain to "reset" your extreme short term memory. EDIT: If you draw a dot, place an elastic on your wrist or whatever while thinking of what you need to remember to do later, looking at the object on your hand will remind you of why you put it there.

2012-06-07T03:30:41.767669+00:00

This will probably get buried, but Here is another one you can add:

This is if you fly a lot, and tend to buy a lot of the little bottles of alcohol during your flights which can be $6 each or more. Instead, got to the liquor store and buy them yourself (much cheaper). Put the bottle(s) with your 1 quart allowable plastic bag to get it past TSA. TSA will not confiscate the alcohol because it you are following The 3-1-1 Rule. Nowhere in the TSA regulations does it say you cannot bring alcohol in your luggage. Now if you are wondering how many bottles you may bring, the answer is as many as you can fit in your 1 quart bag. Picture for proof. I put this bag in clear sight when passing it through TSA. Each TSA agent saw the alcohol in the bag and did not even question it.

NOTE: When you are on the plane, ask the flight attendant for a coke, or different mixer for your cocktail, but DO NOT pull the little bottle out until you are out of view of the flight attendant. The flight's policy is that they want you to buy their alcohol, so as long as you do it when they aren't looking, you wont get caught.

Edit: Correction to "NOTE": flight attendants don't allow you to drink your own alcohol not for alcohol sales but because of regulations on over serving and not letting intoxicated people fly.

2012-06-07T02:46:18.900221+00:00

126

Don't cut your pubes. Burn them. It's much more satisfying.

2012-06-07T02:54:30.919214+00:00

Bartender here. #31 is bullshit. Every glass gets full ice and 2oz of liquor. No ice means more mixer. More ice means less mixer. Simple as that.

2012-06-07T02:18:37.572702+00:00

Thought I'd let you know, tip #27 is blatantly wrong. I learnt in science it's the waiting that gets the fizz out not the tapping that 'scares it away', also tried it several times and made lots of friends look like dumb-asses. So yeah.

You have to wait for the fizz to stop. If you just tap and open, you're gonna have a bath time.

2012-06-07T01:32:17.093240+00:00

Regarding 21, in my car the gas tank is on the driver's side. No arrow, little gas thing has the nozzle on the passenger side. Anyone using my car is screwed, apparently.

2012-06-07T02:13:00.885069+00:00

Say you find yourself to be extremely poor, sleeping out of your car and hopeless. You have one prized possession, a $20 mp3 player, to keep you company during the long nights. And oh snap, the earbuds stop working. How are you going to afford $150 Dre earbuds? How are you going to afford $10 Panasonic earbuds? Bitch, please. Get yourself to The Dollar Tree. Buy a $1 AM/FM radio. Remove earbuds from radio and hook to mp3 player...and let Jewel's "You Were Meant For Me" sing you to sleep.

Those have lasted me over a year with heavy use.

2012-06-07T02:29:41.474546+00:00

20 still needs an update. You don't need to put a hold on your card and you don't need to cancel it. You just tell them that the card was misplaced and they will issue you a new one, making the old card and number useless. This does not affect your credit.

2012-06-07T03:08:35.674881+00:00

Do women actually do #68? I mean wtf

2012-06-06T23:48:26.708956+00:00

You forgot stealing=free stuff.

2012-06-07T01:58:59.180212+00:00

11: www.currentcodes.com is where I go to for discount codes.

2012-06-07T02:38:45.348690+00:00

regarding number 22, pretty much every toilet has a shutoff valve on an exposed pipe next to the toilet. I guess you can take off the lid of the toilet and use the ballcock (yeah, that's what it's called) to stop the flow faster, but really what you want to do is turn that shutoff valve to the right, scavenge for a plunger, and fix the problem.

2012-06-07T01:55:17.700830+00:00

The update to #9 is untrue. Pores do not open and close.

2012-06-07T02:58:29.496680+00:00

In reference to #31: Bartender here: if you're ordering an alcoholic drink and you ask for no ice or ice on the side, its not like I'm going to add more alcohol to your drink. I'm just going to add more mixer. Asking for less ice does the same thing. In fact, the less ice you put in a drink, the less cold it is, so the ice melts, watering your drink down further.

This trick will only work for non-alcoholic drinks - but since soft drinks usually have free refills, I guess it really only works for juice.

2012-06-07T02:11:31.861545+00:00

I know this is the compilation thread, but...

If you have a soda or beer with a huge head on it you want to get rid of, rub your finger across your forehead and then touch the foam. It will immediately start to collapse.

2012-06-07T02:02:23.756137+00:00

27 is wrong though. the air that is normally left in the can becomes little bubbles on the side and bottom of the can, they then race to the top when you open it and force the liquid out too. you need to tap on the bottom and sides of the can to loosen the bubbles and let the air collect at the top.

2012-06-07T02:44:28.812323+00:00

Addition to #20, if you need your license number and either dont want to get your wallet (say you left it in the car or whatever) or lost it, google search "[Your State] drivers license calculator" There is actually a formula they use to figure out what its going to be. (I know it works for Florida)

Number	Cheat
#0	This is a compilation of tips from the internet and although everything on the internet is true, check the comments below and do you're own research before attempting them.
#1 ^Permalink	Stop: Stop: Play. Skip advertisements in movies and go strait to the movie.
#2 ^Permalink	Dial 0 during most automatic menu phone systems to be taken to operator to route your call. also, mashing buttons may work as well. Whenever you have a voice automated phone system, typically saying "representative" gets you someone right away. Update In regards to Cheat Code # 2 I recommend this site: http://gethuman.com/
#3 ^Permalink	keep a spare car key in your wallet/purse. If you have a bulky Key that won't fit in your wallet, get a key made that doesn't have the electronic chip on it. It will still unlock the car, it just won't start it. changed by popular request Risk Update: if your wallet is stolen they have your car key. All they need to do is go to your house some time later and take your car out of your driveway.
#4 ^Permalink	Riding a bicycle will save you lots of money on gas, parking, medical bills, and gym memberships.
#5 ^Permalink	If you are speeding and suddenly up ahead see a cop that clearly just tagged you, slow down and wave to him/her. Your odds of being pulled over are quite a bit reduced.
#6 ^Permalink	Don't be rude, but NEVER answer any cops questions when they call you in for questioning.
#7 ^Permalink	when getting lectured into voice mail, hit 1, pause momentarily. If you aren't put through immediately, hit , pause. Finally, hit # if neither 1 or worked. It is called the 1-star-pound technique, and it works for all cell carriers.
#8 ^Permalink	If your credit card magnetic stripe starts to get worn from use and being in your wallet, and doesn't always read in the card reader, you can use the plastic bag trick. Put the card in a plastic grocery bag and then swipe it. Not sure why it works, but it does.Taking it further though, you can simply apply a piece of quality cellophane tape over the mag stripe for a "permanent" plastic bag trick.
#9 ^Permalink	At the end of your shower turn the water really (or all the way) cold. This will wake you up and get blood flowing. Update 9: It also closes your pores to allow for less dirt and bacteria to get in to help reduce acne problems.
#10 ^Permalink	Macy's credit cards usually have a 20% discount on purchases. I pay with the Macy's card, then while still at the register, I immediately pay off the charge with my debit card. I just got 20% off my purchase and I never get a credit card bill. - this also works with JCP and kohl's cards.
#11 ^Permalink	When you buy something online, you usually get a chance to enter a promo code before you purchase. Google the promo codes. They're out there - you can get anything from free shipping to 25% off the purchase.
#12 ^Permalink	Turn it off, then on again.
#13 ^Permalink	Buy things out of season, this can save you money. Unless its food, then buy it in season.
#14 ^Permalink	When you have forgotten someones name, simply say : "I'm sorry, but what was your name one more time." They may act offended, but when they give you there first name you simply reply "No, I meant your last name." (more socially acceptable to forget). Bingo. First and last names.
#15 ^Permalink	When eating buffalo wings, the flat portions. You can detach the smaller bone on one end very easily, then twist it a bit and it will just slide out. You're now left with a big hunk of meat and only 1 bone, you can just bite it off into your mouth in one piece, flintstones-style. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRcOY-PvOC8
#16 ^Permalink	Gently work an orange in your hands to loosen the peel from the fruit. This makes it easy enough to get the whole peel in one shot.
#17 ^Permalink	Can't find your car in a parking lot? hitting the lock button trying to get it to beep? Extend the distance of key-less entry by putting the key under your chin. The signal will resonate in your skull increasing the range dramatically. I swear to god this works, and I'm told it's safe because the radiation is non-ionizing. verification notice from ddrt via AskReddit sent 20 hours ago 9 is called the scottish shower. Just sayin' EDIT: I just tried #17 holy shit it works!
#18 ^Permalink	If you get a ticket on the windshield of your car, you can potentially get away with parking illegally in the same lot for the rest of the day by keeping the ticket on your windshield. edited reduced from a few days for a single day.
#19 ^Permalink	Most tinfoil and saran wrap boxes have little push-in tabs on the sides. If you push them in, the roll won't fall out when you try to rip out a sheet of it.
#20 ^Permalink	Keep a list of all of the credit card phone numbers (1-800) in your cell phone. This way, if your wallet is ever lost, you can call them immediately to have them disabled. It's also a good idea to place all of the cards in your wallet on a copier and print a page to keep at home. This will give you access to your License #, etc. Update: You should update 20. If you lose your wallet.. as in misplace it.. put a hold on your credit cards. Do NOT cancel. If you cancel it can later show up on your credit report. If you believe you are going to find it later, placing a hold saves you the red mark on your report.
#21 ^Permalink	If you are driving an unfamiliar car and you don't know which side the gas tank is on, just look at the little pump icon next to the gas gauge on the dashboard. The pump handle on the icon will be on the side of the tank. Update: saw the gas tank one on an older reddit, turns out the handle thing is not consistant. But there IS usually a little arrow next to the icon. Second Update 99% of the time the gas door is opposite of the tailpipe. So far, I have only found that early-mid 2000 Pontiac Vibes break this trend. Third update if there is no arrow, then it most likely is on the passenger's side. I've yet to see one without an arrow that wasn't on the passenger's side
#22 ^Permalink	this tip was unpopular, so im changing it This one changed my life. If you're at home/work/party or GOD forbid your girlfriend's house and the toilet starts to overflow, take the lid off the back reservoir part and lift the long handle as far up as it will go. The water will stop rising and then you can quietly mutter curses at it till it goes back down (which it does, more often than not...) link to a Diagram: http://superhomeideas.com/images/toilet.gif
#23 ^Permalink	to peel a boiled egg, roll it around on your plate for a while until all of the eggshell is cracked evenly. Then it's easy to remove the complete shell at once. After you boil eggs immediately place them in ice cold water for a few minutes. No vinegar or salt or oil or whatever people use. Shells slip right off
#24 ^Permalink	you spill any liquid that will stain on your carpet (red wine, juice, etc), pour some salt on it. Work it into the carpet - just rub it in with your hands. Leave it there for a few hours (for serious stains, up to a day) and vacuum it out. Voila, stain gone.
#25 ^Permalink	If you park in a large parking garage/shopping centre, get out and take a photo on your cell phone of the nearest parking sign (Area B2, etc). You will never lose your car again.
#26 ^Permalink	If you drive stick and the battery s dead, get some friends, put the key to the on position, put the car in 2nd and push the clutch down. have your friends push your car. when you get a decent speed going let the clutch up. (this is called "Popping the clutch." your car with start and you can drive around for a while to recharge your battery(provided nothing is wrong with the battery or the alternator). Update thanks for the input guys, i switched it from 1st gear to 2nd gear.
#27 ^Permalink	Tapping on the top of a beer or soda can will make it fizz less! This has been proven wrong in the comment section
#28 ^Permalink	Peel a banana from the bottom, which is one of /r/sciences 2nd highest scoring link of all time! http://www.reddit.com/r/science/top/?t=all
#29 ^Permalink	4,2,3,1 -- Vending machine cheat code. (As in, the vertical buttons machines, like this one http://i.imgur.com/9jJTG.jpg ). will grant access to vending machine's diagnostic menu. most times the fun features are disabled, but i've gotten a free powerade and a couple cokes in the past.
#30 ^Permalink	use this at your own risk Re: #30, I worked as a parking enforcement officer during college and we can tell when it's fake. The fine for this offense (at the university I worked at) was $250, and usually a ban from parking at the university (i.e., booted or towed on sight). College Parking Cheat Code: Anyone who's gone to a college or university knows they usually charge a ridiculous amount of money for parking (usually $300+ for a semester pass or $10+ for the daily passes), a service that should fucking be free for students considering the high cost of education. Fuck them. Buy one daily pass at the beginning of the school year (usually a small paper ticket printed out a machine on the lot), take it home and scan it, photoshop the date for tomorrow, and print. Repeat for the next 4 years. Anyone with even the most rudimentary photoshop skills can pull this off convincingly. Even if your printer is shitty, from behind the tint and glare of a car windshield, it might as well be a 7-11 receipt. I did this for 2 years at a UC and saved hundreds of dollars.

Number	Cheat
#31 ^Permalink	When you go to a restaurant where they bring you your drink in a cup/glass, ask for no ice or for ice on the side. Often what they do is load your drink with ice so that it seems as if there's more in there, especially at bars.
#32 ^Permalink	When you pour soda, pour it along the side of the cup instead of directly into it - like they do at bars. This keeps alot of the "fizzyness" in the drink and as a result, it keeps a lot of the texture and flavor.
#33 ^Permalink	If you need to withdraw more money than your limit, if you do it quickly enough, you can withdraw your limit twice from the same ATM and sometimes the one next to it before it stops you from withdrawing any more.
#34 ^Permalink	If you back up the toilet at work or someones house with no plunger available, look for liquid hand soap. Dump some in the toilet and wait about five minutes and flush again. The soap lubricates the nasties so they'll flush away. If its still clogged, find a way to dump hot water in the toilet, as it can have the same effect. Use the trash can or something. If its still clogged, kick the door open and run like hell. Find a new job or new friends. You just left their toilet full of hot soapy shit soup, you asshole.
#35 ^Permalink	When I am in a large shopping centre (mall) I take a photo of the information board on my phone so I can look up how to get to stores without having to go back to the board
#36 ^Permalink	When commenting on something, whether it be reddit, facebook, etc. finish typing your comment, stop, re-read it twice and then ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish with said comment before posting.
#37 ^Permalink	When you finish showering, use your hand as a squeegee(?) To get excess water off your body. It makes drying much faster and your towel will also be dry sooner.
#38 ^Permalink	Don't be a dick
#39 ^Permalink	if you gently rock back and forth while pooping it will take significantly less time and make it easier to pass more "troublesome" movements. Best. Lifehack. Ever.
#40 ^Permalink	Try and get in good with the clerks/secretaries of where ever you work or do business. Those are the people who can most easily cover your ass when you fuck up.
#50 ^Permalink	1st Date Cheat Code for MEN: Never tell a girl where you’re going or how to dress. Instead, tell her to "dress for a first date with a guy she really likes". Now, pick three places you'd like to go: someplace fun and active (bowling, pool, mini golf, go-kart racing, ballgame, etc), something romantic and classy (nice restaurant, upscale lounge, art gallery opening) and something in between (nice bar, coffee shop, comedy club). Now, when you pick her up, let the way she's dressed decide which you’re going to do: If she's wearing something sexy and revealing (dress, high heels, low cut top, etc.) than she wants to go somewhere classy and romantic. If she's sporting some jeans, tennis shoes or flip-flops, and a tee, the bowling ally or pool hall may be a good bet. If she's wearing jeans, high heeled boots, and nice top or blouse, than she's not really jonesing for the super romance treatment, and she put in more effort than mini golf deserves (eighteen holes of mini golf in heels... seriously?), so a comedy club or some place with live music is a good choice. And never, EVER, do a movie on the first date! EDIT: Men: You're going to wear a pair of CLEAN, NEAT jeans, a pressed stylish LONG sleeve button down shirt, nice shoes or boots (try to avoid tennis shoes of sneakers). Works for ANY occasion!
#51 ^Permalink	If you don't know if a baby is a boy or a girl ask the baby "Whats your name?" And the parent will answer. That way no angry mom or dad getting mad because you cant tel because they dress there baby in green.
#52 ^Permalink	Wear a condom
#53 ^Permalink	On flights, if you are fighting for an arm rest with a stranger. bring your arm (the one thats on the same side the arm rest you want) up to your mouth and sneeze/cough. Then place it by the armrest. The other person will move their arm. Has had 100% success rate.
#53 ^Permalink	To stop a sneeze, tickle the roof of your mouth with your tongue.
#55 ^Permalink	Avoid forgetting something in the morning by placing it in your shoes. (works best if you wear the same pair every day.)
#56 ^Permalink	Give yourself half an hour of downtime in the morning, between being ready to leave and leaving, and your day won't feel so rushed.
#57 ^Permalink	Simply put: Don't ever overlay your reality onto someone else's reality. Example: Person A: "Oh man, I'm having a really hard time recently, I can't seem to get along with my mom." Person B: "Yeah, I know how that is, I just talked to my mom yesterday, and she was like...." etc. Let Person A reflect on their moment of hardship, stand back, listen, be there for them, but don't interject with your own thoughts/emotions about your own situation.
#58 ^Permalink	When you're talking to someone and can't tell if they are interested in the subject/their mind is elsewhere, cross your arms. If they cross theirs as well, they are truly listening.
#59 ^Permalink	Men of all shapes and sizes: Wear clothing that fits. Nothing looks trashier than a guy wearing a shirt two sizes too big or a pair of uncomfortable looking pants. This applies to fat guys too, don't try to hide your flub by wearing large t-shirts and jackets as they only make you look bigger! Instead get fitted and wear clothing that fits you.
#60 ^Permalink	Listen to music when doing stuff by yourself, it will make the most mundane task feel awesome.
#61 ^Permalink	If you want to get into a sold out concert simply go to the store and buy two bags of ice. Walk up to the front of the line and say, "I'm the ice guy". Free concert, minus the price of the ice.
#62 ^Permalink	If you are quitting something e.g. smoking, drinking etc. Everytime you feel the urge to do said addiction : Go for a run, do 20 sit ups, 20 push ups etc. This way you can start to associate exercise with quitting and you get fitter the more you quit which can make you feel better
#63 ^Permalink	Shut the fuck up. Wait for the lawyer.
#64 ^Permalink	No matter where you are in public, make it a habit of noting every reflective surface around you. Usually you can find one that gives a decent view of who is behind you. If you're at work, strategically place cds or other reflective objects so you can always see whose standing behind you in your cube.
#65 ^Permalink	↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start
#66 ^Permalink	Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
#67 ^Permalink	Before you take a dookie, throw in a piece or two of toilet paper in the toilet bowl to reduce/avoid splasing and that kerplunk noise.
#68 ^Permalink	Women can push the poop out with their fingers properly inserted into their vagina.
#69 ^Permalink	If you're shaving your balls, try to maintain an erection during the entire shave. The whole job is a lot easier with your penis out of the way.
#70 ^Permalink	If you have crushing chest pain, call 911 first. Then chew some aspirin. I work in cardiology.
#71 ^Permalink	When you eat hard shell taco's, do it over your nachos. That way when they disintegrate, you can eat the bits you lost with your nachos.
#72 ^Permalink	If you need to store cookies or pastries for a few days in a tupperware or other type of container, to prevent them from getting dry and brittle, put a piece of bread in the container right along with the cookies. It will keep them very soft and moist. Sometimes, if you burn the cookies a little and they seem very tough and crunchy, leaving them in a container with the bread over night will actually soften them up and make them better than when they came out of the oven!
#73 ^Permalink	Kill a boner within 30 seconds by squeezing your thighs together really tight. (Guys only).
#74 ^Permalink	Walk on the sides of stairs to avoid/reduce creaks.
#75 ^Permalink	Talk to everyone like you would your best mate, and smile.
#76 ^Permalink	Sprinkle some salt on your napkin coaster at the bar.. your beer won't stick to it EVERY FUGGIN TIME....
#77 ^Permalink	To get through tech support quickly with an ISP, choose the option for becoming a new customer. Then when you get there ask to transfer to tech support. Usually they won't put you on hold because they see the number coming from the new customer line.
#78 ^Permalink	Pull on your hair in the shower, if it squeaks you already shampooed it.
#79 ^Permalink	Don't announce that you are having a kid till the second trimester.
#80 ^Permalink	When studying arts at university, take notes on your prof's political/philosophical ideologies and worldviews. Regurgitate in essays and on exams for an A grade. Also, margins, font, font size, etc. are incredibly important. Never neglect these.
#81 ^Permalink	Never include #41-#49 in a list of real-life cheat codes on reddit.

AskReddit

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Here is a compilation of the top 80 real life cheat codes written by reddit community.

68 disturbed the shit out of me

126

20 still needs an update. You don't need to put a hold on your card and you don't need to cancel it. You just tell them that the card was misplaced and they will issue you a new one, making the old card and number useless. This does not affect your credit.

11: www.currentcodes.com is where I go to for discount codes.

AskReddit

Join us in reddit IRC!

MODERATORS

Here is a compilation of the top 80 real life cheat codes written by reddit community.

68 disturbed the shit out of me

126

20 still needs an update. You don't need to put a hold on your card and you don't need to cancel it. You just tell them that the card was misplaced and they will issue you a new one, making the old card and number useless. This does not affect your credit.

11: www.currentcodes.com is where I go to for discount codes.

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